Sockage

I think I must be one of the only people in the world who can destroy an ordinary sock by putting it on my foot.

Hassled

There are a lot of Scots in town for the Scotland-Ireland match. One of them was evidently under some pressure. He was standing at the Trinity end of Grafton street, with the leading edge of his kilt held up at about chest height, shouting "LOOK NAE! LOOK! SINCE YE ALL WANT TA! I'M WAERIN' BOXERRRS UNDERR HEEERE! BOXERRRRRS!"