In the style of [livejournal.com profile] puritybrown:

Dear People Who Are Supposed To Answer The Phone in the Savoy and UGC Cinemas,

Why won't you do your jobs? Savoy people, I could understand the constant engaged tone I was getting last week, but I now suspect you of leaving the phone off the hook. UGC people, I'm not certain that you have ever picked up the phone. It's probably white or beige, maybe black, and if you pick it up, you can listen to the people who want to book tickets. You probably know it as "that thing that never stops making noise, even when I hit it with a hammer."

While I'm writing to you, can I book tickets for The Two Towers on the 18th? Booking is where I give you money in advance, and you give me tickets either in advance or on the night. The Two Towers is a film (mov-ing pic-ture) that is coming out soon.

Thank you,
Drew.
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