On Social Groups

[gothwalk]

There seems to be some kind of need for any social group to have an underdog. Sometimes the underdog is a jester, sometimes a charity case, sometimes a victim, sometimes an almost outcast. They're the person about whom other people talk in negative terms, be they "have you heard what he did now?" to "Why doesn't she go to a shrink?" to "When is he going to get over this wearing a dress thing?".

Sometimes, however, the underdog rebels - decides to refuse the charity, no longer be the butt of jokes, strike back, or forge friendships outside the group. This always provokes backlash, as the group tries hard to either keep their underdog, punish them for straying, or get a new one, all at once. Instant polarisation of the group appears - you're either on the side of the underdog, or the other side. Members of the "other side" may contact the underdog directly, and either try to persuade them not to rebel, for their own good, or point out how much they are hurting the group, or members of the group.

Strangely, even when the underdog is gone from the group, they can still fulfil that function as a target for any bad feelings the group has, and the group draws closer together in their dislike of this "common enemy" and the feeling of comradeship that they get from the underdogs opposition to all of them. Anyone attempting to defend the underdog can be likewise attacked, unless they're a person of higher social standing in the group, in which case things lapse into sullen silence. Defending in this way, however, is the first step towards becoming the new underdog.

Now, it might be thought that what I've described here is confined to teenagers and younger children. Surely adults can overcome this kind of unconscious behaviour, and will act rationally. Especially if they're intelligent people. But in the last week, I've seen a social group go through precisely this. And they are definitely intelligent people - but it's truly bizarre what this situation does to them.

I've seen kindly people - people I respect, or in some cases, respected - act like children, saying hurtful and indeed hateful things. I've seen elements of the underdog's history, both inside and outside the group, dug up and thrown. And I've seen the gathering in other places of the group to sniff and comment and talk carefully and specifically to other people who have fallen out with the underdog. Now, I'm not saying the underdog is one hundred percent blameless here. But the degree of mistreatment that they have received is out of all proportion to anything they did - except try to stop being the underdog.

I'm not naming names here - I thought about it, and then decided that bringing any more attention to the actual affair could do no good; it would only attract voyeurs. The people involved know who they are, and know what they have done. I doubt that they'll accept this explanation of why - they'll provide dozens of justifications, many coming down to "[Underdog] started it!"

And all I can do is stand on the sidelines and say: grow up.

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