(no subject)

[gothwalk]

I've just spoken to a doctor from the clinic where I'm getting the vasectomy done. She's agreed to do it, but she also tried to talk me out of it on the basis that I'm too young.

I don't understand this reasoning. At 25, I'm old enough to vote, drink, own a gun, drive a car, and, get this one, old enough to decide to have kids. Or, indeed, have six of them already. But I can't decide not to? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I would have thought that having kids was more of a decision than not having them. More life-changing, more expensive, more of a strain on an already over-strained planet?

<offensive>Goddamn Catholics.</offensive>

Comments

[natural20.livejournal.com]

Yes. Quite offensive, and I say this as someone who hasn't been Catholic in a number of years. And no, I'm not just sticking up for them. I think that a lot of doctors, and people, of different faiths would have the same opinion. For instance I agree with contraception and I don't think people should have silly numbers of children, but I do think that 25 is too young to make any decision like that. I think, personally, that 25 is too young to have children as well as not have them.

I don't think you can lay this advice at the door of Catholics. And don't get me started on why *nothing* should be laid at the door of *any* group of people like that.

Oh and for what it's worth, while I may think you're too young, it is your choice to do it, but I don't think you should get upset about advice from anyone.

Now if the doctor had said "no" for some reason that would be very different.

[gothwalk.livejournal.com]

I don't know... y'see, in England, you can walk in off the street, have a vasectomy done, and walk out again, in three or four reputable clinics; London and Birmingham for the most part. There is a point of view in this country that having children is a) a duty and b) normal (as in, anyone who doesn't is abnormal). I can't see many places to lay the blame for that but at the door of the Old Style Catholic Church, who've bound the "no contraception" law about with so much justification and social engineering.

I'm not getting upset as much as annoyed at the one-sidedness of the advice - the response to having children is always "Congratulations", the response to not having them is "Why? And here're the reasons you should..."

If 25 is too young to make that decision, then why can I vote/drink/drive/etc? Those decisions affect far more than two people.

[iresprite.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you had that experience, and moreover that you feel that the Church is overstepping your boundaries.

I dig that you don't want kids, but I think I agree with what someone else said about the doctor making sure. I obviously don't know what's going on in the doctor's head- whether she's really in the Catholic mindset or not- but I'd ask you to consider that the whole social engineering thing might not just be about the Catholic church, but about your culture in general.

Granted, it's a very Catholic country, but there's a lot more to a country than that. And I hope you think there's more to Catholics than a stubborn mindset about childbearing. If nothing else, I'd consider your choice to be valid.

[syleth.livejournal.com]

I'm not getting upset as much as annoyed at the one-sidedness of the advice - the response to having children is always "Congratulations", the response to not having them is "Why? And here're the reasons you should..."

Because when a person tells you they're having a baby, it's a bit late to start on some rant about why people shouldn't have kids.

And in my short short life, I've known many more people who's lives were opened up and enriched by having children, then not. So when it happens for someone else, then I'm genuinely happy for them.

But, Drew, if this is the right thing to do, if having kids would make you unhappy, then I do, quite sincerely, congratulate you.

[gothwalk.livejournal.com]

That has made me grin quite widely. Thank you.

Two-sided coin.

[ailbhe]

I'm not getting upset as much as annoyed at the one-sidedness of the advice - the response to having children is always "Congratulations", the response to not having them is "Why? And here're the reasons you should..."

FWIW, this is not entirely true. When I tell people that I am planning to have children as part of my future, and that I am trying to quit smoking and exercise regularly and eat properly so that I will be healthy throughout pregnancy, and that I am planning a great honeymoon because it will probably be the only holiday we ever take without children untl we retire, people say "Are you crazy? Why do you want kids? You're so young - you have so many choices - why do you want kids?"

Worse, they say "You'll change your mind when you have some!"

I think the automatic "Congratulations!" is at least partially because by then it's too late.